~c-fan

Where I got that centence? I have no idea.. You could say it was dwelling in my head, but I know it's been used before. Everything has..

My psychiatrist said to me today: "Everyone has a bad day, but remember you have a good one comming."

I just nodded and smiled.. What else was I supposed to do? Tell her she was wrong? No, that would be a lie. But even so, I wish I could belive her.

I'm a sucker, I know that for sure. Hoping that one day, soon, I'l wake up and never again feel like I do today. Each day I tell my self, it will turn out for the better in the end.

Yet I keep closing myself inn, giving the people around me the feeling I'm actualy closing in to what I soarly dream.
I tell myself: "Keep on that happy face, because one day it will be there to stay. One day, this bad dream will be over. One day...

When I go to sleep at night. Thoughts never stops infesting my mind. Why can't it calm down, give me rest. Just once! PLEASE?
But no..

Rest assured, some days are better than others. Some nights, I go to sleep so fast. In the morning, I hope that THIS time, it'l last.

Another day, another happy face. People acknowledge, se what they think is real. But when I get back home, away from the world outside. I once again, feel like I'm closing more and more inside.

Why this feeling, GOD I wish I knew! Everything will turn out good, hopefully, but my mind say "No, not for you.."

Another day comes, it's not realy that bad. At night I keep on wonder, why do I still feel sad?

I can't explain this, no words can ever tell..

I wish I was a christian, 'cus then there would be a hell..